Category Archives: Personal Posts

Asperger’s Syndrome: Is there any point seeking a diagnosis as an adult?

April 8, 2015Asperger's Syndrome, Personal Postsaspergers, diagnosisSensory Seeker

Is there any point seeking a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome as an adult?

I often wonder whether it is worth being assessed for whether I have Asperger’s Syndrome or not. But as an adult is there any point in seeking a diagnosis even if I did? It has been hard enough fighting for support for my children, never mind myself. Is there even much support out there for adults with Asperger’s Syndrome: For women even? Where would I begin and what would it achieve.

Why I even considered that I may have Asperger’s Syndrome

I first started to consider that I may have Asperger’s Syndrome when a seed was planted in my head when my oldest son was diagnosed. We were asked whether I had any traits as part of his diagnosis. I often have `meltdowns’ but have always just put them down to all the undealt with issues from my childhood. We did mention the fact that I cannot have hangers with nothing on them left in the wardrobe in between clothes. I hate change and really struggle with it. And of course I really struggle with relationships whether people want to admit it or not. I do not understand really the concept of things not being the way the rules say and just ignoring it. I know people do not like to be corrected and if I think hard about it I can stop myself from acting – but the thoughts are still there. I am sure there a lots more reasons that put me in the three areas of the triad but I try not to think about it too much as I feel like I am trying to make myself fit when I may not.

What would a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome mean for me?

But a diagnosis (if I were) – well that wouldn’t change any of that would it. Possibly if I knew there was a cause would that make me feel any better about myself? And what if it was determined that I wasn’t on the Spectrum – would that make me feel bad that I have these behaviours with no reason – would the Asperger’s give me a reason to feel so different? Am I just hoping that it would give me a sense of belonging? Would there be any help I could access to help me fit in better? I mean I know that I am useless at small talk: I can barely even manage to say hello how are you on social media when I have something I want to discuss. I have made myself aware of this and try to at least apologise and say it afterwards – or is this normal? Am I actually just too self-absorbed?

If you have been diagnosed, or know of anyone who has, as an adult – then how did you know? And what did you do?

You may have found this page and discovered that I do not have Asperger’s Syndrome, or would like to talk to someone who has received a late diagnosis, therefore I can recommend that you visit Jax’s who has.

I would really appreciate any feedback on this topic please. x

The Sensory Seeker Progress 5 years 10 Months

February 11, 2015Personal Postsprogress, The Sensory SeekerSensory Seeker

I thought I would do a progress post of how The Sensory Seeker is doing. He is currently 5 years and almost 10 months old.

The Sensory Seeker and Mornings

As long as the routine is there mornings seem to be going pretty well. Yes The Sensory Seeker may need encouraging to eat his breakfast but generally this is happening (whether that be dry cereal, scrambled egg or he loves bacon). I even have managed to get him to have a drink of milk each day. There have been times when this has been more difficult, and at one point he just screamed and screamed. Looking back I am not sure if I was not fulfilling The Sensory Seeker’s Auditory sense.

Although it was really difficult at the time I just tried to focus on the fact that it was The Sensory Seeker that wasn’t coping. That it would pass. I knew it was to do with lots of changes and possibly tiredness. Instead of punishing him for his behaviour we tried to make things easier for him (without spoiling). We relaxed our boundaries (such as a complete ban on computer games in the week) in return for behaviours we desired (such as eating all of his breakfast before school). Teeth brushing is going really well, which is a lot to do with our fairy and the fact that he has “big” teeth coming through. He is also really enjoying playing with LEGO before school – which is great for his fine motor development, imaginative play, sharing and attention. I know at the end of the term he is getting more tired and less co-operative and so I do tend to just save the argument by getting him dressed myself. The Sensory Seeker loves scooting to school – which not only gets us there faster but is good for his gross motor, his proprioception and vestibular senses. I also have my own Microscooter* now to help me keep up with him and ensure that he is safe. Thank you to Microscooters for this kind donation.

The Sensory Seeker At School

School seems to be going really well for The Sensory Seeker. I haven’t heard any concerns and he seems to be progressing at a good rate. He has got really independent at going into school and doing the things he needs to do (hanging up his coat, ticking what he wants for dinner) before slotting into playing alongside his peers. He has had a few toileting accidents (more so when there was a lot of change) but other than that I am really happy with how things are. The Sensory Seeker even seems to be trying now foods as he now has cooked dinners at school. It is good to hear him counting and reading particularly, as when he was hardly talking it was hard to imagine him ever doing these things. He doesn’t like his shirt tucked in or his buttons done up – so we are currently not forcing him to.

The Sensory Seeker After School

The Sensory Seeker now goes to Boys Brigade, Football club and ICT club (all with his older brother who is 7 years and 4 months): He seems to be coping well (again just toileting issues). He is able to play (mainly with LEGO) without supervision or needing things structured for him. At home The Sensory Seeker can be easily wound up – but think that’s more of a brothers thing. He is occasionally eating with his fork/spoon but mainly with his hands still. Currently we are still concentrating on the fact that he is eating, trying new foods and textures. The amount is small and we do have to barter with him a lot. Bedtimes he goes down pretty much without fuss in routine. Sometimes we relent and let him go to sleep in our bed. He is more and more ending up coming into our bed in the night and the one time he didn’t he had an awful nightmare that I had died. Other than that he’s got much better at not touching people after I have told him and even was easier to have his hair cut this time. The Sensory Seeker seems to have a much larger attention span that he used to and has developed his own interests. We recently took our Microscooters to the Forest of Dean to do the Gruffalo’s Child Trail again and he did really well with reading the words (as well as the scooting).

* I received a free Microscooter to promote the benefits of having an adult scooter on the school run. I was not specifically asked for this post but wanted to share how useful it is in this situation.

Our Little Angel – The Christmas Production

December 9, 2014Personal Postsangel, Christmas, progressSensory Seeker

Our Sensory Seeker had his school Christmas production today. I guess you could say like a lot of other 5 year old boys. And that is exactly why I am writing this. Because today our Sensory Seeker wasn’t a boy with difficulties – he was a little Angel. He was no more supported than any other child in his year group and he was just fine!

Okay he may have poked the Star (character) when he was meant to be pointing at her. But her remember to point, no-one had to tell him to. No-one helped him on or off the stage. He just did it all by himself. And when he repeated the performance for the second time in the evening he kept his attention and another parent told me how well he had done.

I am so proud of how far our little Sensory Seeker has come and I am so excited about how far he has yet to travel.

Christmas Tree Hand Made Biscuits Gifts

November 30, 2014Christmas, Personal Posts, Play MattersChristmas Tree Biscuits, Hand made gifts, Sensory ChristmasSensory Seeker

When you have a child with special needs I think that a Hand Made Christmas gift for their teachers is a really special touch. The teachers know that The Sensory Seeker does not cope with the change of routine that Christmas brings, and how hard he has worked at making their gift. Not only does it help show the progress he’s made but it also helps him cope with his Sensory imbalance. This year he made Christmas Tree biscuits – which I then simply packed into cellophane, tidied some ribbon round and added a bow.

Hand Made Christmas Tree Biscuits Gifts

The recipe to make the biscuits is slightly more complicated but The Sensory Seeker used an all in one mix which seemed to work okay.

Christmas Tree Biscuits Ingredients

250g Softenend butter, 140g castor sugar, 1 egg yolk, 300g plain flour (plus extra if it is to sticky and for the surface/rolling pin), orange flavouring

For Decoration: Ice sugar, colouring, sweets.

Christmas Tree Biscuits Method

Measure all the ingredients. The benefits for The Sensory Seeker were that he had to listen, follow instructions and his attention/patience were stretched. I often had to change my use of language to be simpler for him, or less abstract to him. For example after weighing the sugar and flour they both needed tipping in together. But both items were white and some The Sensory Seeker did not understand the instruction tip the sugar in with the flour. But when I told him to put the contents of the white little bowl into the green big bowl he was able to understand.

Mix together all the ingredients. The Sensory Seeker started by stirring with a spoon, this was beneficially for him learning to try and stop himself from just touching things. I did then let him mix it in with his hands – which is good for his hand development as well as getting the desired tactile sensory input that he requires.

Next the mixture was rolled out and Christmas Trees cut out using cutters. If you have no cutters I am sure a Christmas Tree shape would be easy enough to make with a knife. They were then baked in our fan oven at 180 degrees for around 20 minutes (watch the biscuits and smell them until they are ready). Let cool before decorating.

Decorating the Christmas Tree Biscuits

Simply colour some icing green and pour over the Christmas Trees. Whilst this is still wet decorate with stars and circle sweets (to represent baubles). When this has dried squeeze on more coloured icing to represent tinsel.

Turning Christmas Tree Biscuits into Hand Made Gifts

To turn the Christmas Tree Biscuits into beautiful Hand Made Gifts then simply shape some cellophane around them (we got ones with Christmas Trees on from Ebay), and secure it in place with sticky tape. Make it more of a gift by added some ribbon in festive colours and a bow.

Christmas Tree Biscuit Gifts Benefits and Problems for The Sensory Seeker

Making the Christmas Tree Biscuits provided a lot of benefits to The Sensory Seeker, but there were also a few problems to overcome. Whilst making the mixture up I also talked to The Sensory Seeker a lot: This was good for his auditory sense, following instructions, and his understanding – as we discussed concepts such as number, texture, etc. He has made great relationships with the staff at school and it was great to see him taking such pride in the activity. This is great for his sense of self and of his World (thinking about others). I was actually really impressed with him asking if it was time to start the next section again when he was allowed to play on computer games. The activity was great for his hand development with mixing, rolling, cutting, transferring (the biscuits onto the tray), and fine motor for adding the sweets. Most of these also helped his hand-eye co-ordination and his sense of place. He was able to meet many aspects of his Sensory Diet such as adding in some orange flavouring, which is good for the sense of smell, whilst giving the biscuits a Christmas feel. The Sensory Seeker DID need to wash his hands A LOT as inevitably he ended up touching. The surfaces also needed a lot of cleaning. The Sensory Seeker was particularly unable to resist the butter and had to be stopped from giving the (cooked) biscuits a little kiss (to give his teachers his love). It was a great way to let him become more aware about hygiene. Sitting still is quite difficult for The Sensory Seeker so the biscuits were made in stages. He also sat on a stool that allowed him to spin around and around in circles getting his vestibular input.

Note for parents: This activity may require a lot of patience and result in a lot of mess. We did it in the kitchen (with easy wipe surfaces and floors) and not far from the sink.

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University with a Disability

September 23, 2014Asperger's Syndrome, Education, Personal Postsdisability, disabled, UCAS, UniversitySensory Seeker

When my son was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome at aged 10 I never in a million years thought that I would be having to help him think about University. But he has come on so far in that time it really has been amazing. I shall not embarrass him by listing all the things he couldn’t do – I am sure if you are reading this you may already know yourself. But what now? Will he really be able to cope at University? Will he eaten enough, clean himself enough, not get into trouble with other people? Are these not the thoughts of any teenager about to fly the nest – is he really any different anymore?

The following information are things that I have gathered about disability in relation to my son with Asperger’s syndrome; there may be relevant information and links for other disabilities but obviously there is more to think about and this post may only be a starting point.

Going to University with Special Needs – UCAS

The first hurdle we are struggling with is UCAS. My husband and I did not go through UCAS when going to University it is our first time dealing with them. Of course communication is the first big issue here. I really am not sure whether our son is not being told the right information or not at all. He is not doing General Studies (timetable clash) and according to him there does not appear to be any way they are making up the fact that he is missing what they are being taught about UCAS forms. UCAS is the Universities and Colleges admissions services – basically he will need to fill out one of their forms saying which Universities he wants to go to. The deadline for UCAS is January 15^th 2015 – my son just thinks I am being a ~~pushy~~ organised parent.

UCAS can be done online, and saved and tracked. There’s a 10 digit personal ID number – and this can be shared with people who help fill out the form. Some of the form can also be shared with the student finance company. Tuition fees loan can be borrowed regardless of family income/situation. 5 choices can be made. It costs £12 to apply for one course and £23 for two or more.

This will include a Personal Statement – that is talking about himself, selling himself telling the places why they should pick him to go on their course over anyone else. It has to be a minimum of 1,000 characters This in itself is proving difficult as it is hard to get him to do anything to put on the statement, and also because things are so black and white he does not understand the whole, because I can do x then y. For example, when applying for a job as a lifeguard he put that he could swim a length under water and knew how to deal with children. To him these were the qualities he had to be a lifeguard. They said this wasn’t enough. We then talked about how he was studying science and was therefore good at observing hazards – he did not see how that was related to being a lifeguard because the hazards were not the same.

Universities must make reasonable adjustments to account for the disability. Disclosing the disability can show evidence of character and achievement (see why you should disclose that you have a disability). This may be something like learning the ability to manage money, or that the disabled person has learnt to cook their own meals. This shows determination and using skills to sort things out.

Deciding on a University

The amount paid back each month for a Student Loan will be the same whether the tuition fees are 6,000 as they are 9,000 (a year). Institutions that charge more than 6,000 in tuition fees have to put in place measures to help students from poorer backgrounds. Waivers and Bursaries – if there’s an option then it is better to have the Bursary as it is more likely to be higher and meet the costs of the basic needs. UCAS has a guide on helping disabled students find the right course for them.

Students with Asperger’s are likely more difficulties socially and with life skills. These may include understanding and processing language, sensory issues, diet/fussy eaters, working in groups, struggle with changes to routines, independent study, taking things literally, understanding jokes, and so on. So it is pleasing to hear that several Universities are offering summer schools to help those with Asperger’s adapt (including Birmingham, Bath, Cambridge and Aberystwyth.

Open Days

It is best to attend the Institutions before putting them down on the form. Have a look on their websites for when they are holding their open days. Some will require you to book them in advanced, others you just turn up on the day.

The Course:Selecting the place of study will depend on what you want to study. Check out the league tables to see which are the highest rated, and what others are saying about it. Think about whether future employers will be influenced by the institution choice. Depending on the course some careers are determined by health and have rules called ‘fitness to practice’ set by professional bodies to ensure people can do the job – this does not mean disabled people are automatically ruled out though. Does the course require an admission test to be sat? The disability officer (see below) can help with this. Tutors can provide advice on the course options -what mix of lectures, number of assignments, seminars there are.

The Requirements: Make sure you have enough UCAS points to secure a place, and see what typically they accept. Just because there isn’t enough UCAS points does not mean that a place cannot be obtained. If the offers received are not taken or none are given then students can go through Extra. From February 24^th courses with vacancies can be applied for, and the personal statement can be amended. Then if no offers in June then they can go through clearing.

The Location: Is the place near to home. Therefore, all the support of living at home is still available. If moving away think about the accommodation and any additional difficulties that may need extra help.

The Support: Each University will have a student support or Disability Officer. Speak with them to determine what additional help can be provided. They will be able to advise you on whether they could provide support/help/advice to meet needs. This might be just someone to meet with once a week to talk about academic/care/financial needs – so have a think about what it is that needs additional support. If contact is made before the open day then it gives the disability officer a chance to find other disabled students wanting to do the same course, and/or those already on the course to be able to meet up with. I think this also will give an indication as to what level of support the disability officer is likely to provide. This may give an insight into other difficulties that may be incurred that had not been thought of. Social services can also be involved to help with personal care needs.

Financial help for Disabled Students

All students are able to apply for loans for tuition and living costs. On top of this there is the Disabled Students Allowance – The support depends on individual needs and not income. It’s paid on top of other student financial income and does not have to be repaid. This can be up to a maximum of £27, 678 for the academic year 2015-2016 (most students get less). They do not cover disabled costs that would be incurred if not attending the course, or that any student may have. Things covered would include specialist equipment, non-medical helpers, extra helpers, and costs related to the course/disability. Cuts have been proposed for 2015 that DSA will be only be given for specific learning difficulties if their needs are considered complex. It will no longer pay for standard computers for disabled students or note-takers and learning mentors.

The University will also have a hardship fund – for those experiencing financial hardship – one of the examples is if the student is disabled.

Other Sources of help for Disabled Students

Skill

Disabled students helpline

This is, of course, lots more to consider such as insurance, helping them become independent (cooking/budget, etc), accommodation etc. If anyone has any support information on going to University then I would really appreciate it – disability or non-disability related. And if you or your child are thinking about it then the very best of luck to them.

This is NOT a sponsored post.

School holidays and The Sensory Seeker

August 9, 2014Personal Posts, Reviews, Seasonalschool holidaysSensory Seeker

Work destroyed – torn to pieces and coloured over, head butting, saying inappropriate things, playing with food, not eating favourite foods on an already limited diet, not sleeping, standing on his hand, spinning, attacking his brothers and smearing ice-cream all over his face. Yes this is the first three weeks of the school holidays. But you know what – it is going well!

Ways to cope with The School Holidays and The Sensory Seeker

The fact that I can even list what my 5 year old has done that is a tad bit stressful so far these holidays is real progress. In fact a lot of them were one off incidents instead of daily occurrences. In fact the reason I am even able to write this is that the school holidays are going so well that he has gone off to a summer day football session. It is at his school with a familiar adult but still a massive step forwards. I think that the two key ingredients for me are that I am not letting myself get wound up about them (he can’t help it and it must be worse for him) and trying to ensure he has a sensory diet to lower the risk of him not being able to cope.

Listening to The Sensory Seeker

I have stopped trying to force him to do things because I fear he will become an adult that can never do them. For example we missed seeing The Lost Dinosaur when we went to The Eden Project because he really could not cope with the sensory input anymore. The barefoot trail really helped him but he was really struggling. We have learnt to watch and listen for his cues and act on them. In this case we removed him from the situation and went back to the holiday park.

Diet and The Sensory Seeker

The food thing is so frustrating but actually relaxing about it has been what has worked for me. So what if he has smeared food all over himself before eating it, yes not the most hygienic but it won’t kill him. Surely it is better than him not eating at all. I am careful as to how many foods I give him, make sure they are not touching, something I know he does like. I never expect him to eat anything – even things he does like. I am prepared to barter with him to get him to eat something healthy. He is learning to understand about when he is at school and when he is not. He has shown this by telling us that he can have pancakes on non-school days (they take time to make and wash up after). Just before the holidays ended he decided that he did not like chicken roll – which was the only sandwich filling he would eat before! Now he only wants to eat wraps. There’s no point in making a battle of it I just listen to what he wants.

Things that have really helped with our Sensory Seeker and the School holidays

A paddling pool – we have a big pool outside and he can get in and out when he pleases.

Guns – water and the BOOMCo Madness Rapid Blaster – good for helping with his hand development.

The trampoline – this is an all year round thing that helps but our 14ft trampoline is great for him.

Ice – we made some frozen Lego shapes, great for his sensory needs.

Cardboard boxes – squeezing into a tight cardboard box was good, and he loved that he was able to destroy it afterwards.

Chocolate milkshake – this has been a big bartering tool this summer.

Picnics – I think he prefers cold food and he has loved the variety of a picnic. Plus with it not being hot food he can eat when he wants to. Particularly successful was when we made a last minute decision to take some jelly on a picnic.

Luckily we have a chill factor jelly maker that makes jelly in minutes and not hours. Following on from the success of Character’s Chill Factor Slushy and Ice Cream Makers they have now bought out a Jelly one! Simply leave in the freezer (minimum of 6 hours) and then when you want to make Jelly add your mixture and it is set in minutes! You need to use half the amount of water than normal, and you squeeze, squeeze, and squeeze some more. Then after a few minutes flip it over and leave for another minute to set. The jelly maker is suitable from 5 years (although they will need someone to make the jelly mixture). We found that it was really good for our five year old Sensory Seeker’s hand development. I am always forgetting to make the jelly so this is just perfect for me. Or for my impromptu visits to the park with a jazzed up picnic.

Not worrying about bedtimes – we will suffer later no doubt but whilst the sun is shining late at night and there is no school we have been much more relaxed about what time he (and all the boys) go to bed.

Keeping him active and entertained – using visuals such as alphabet bingo or working through his Gold Stars Starting Maths for the summer gold stars challenge. Children need to keep their education going through the school holidays so they do not forget things. As he is behind his peers I feel that this is particularly important.I picked the lower age book (3-5 years) and think it has been beneficial to both of us to see how easy he seems to be finding it. I feel it has really helped illustrate just how far he has developed in his reception year too (as he is still working towards all but one National curriculum levels and may be moved to P-levels). Each page has a simple activity and it is very visual. It was good for communication as we both discussed things in the book and what was expected of him. He is loving the stickers that he gets as a reward for completing each of the pages too. If he does all 30 then he will receive a certificate too. It has helped me identify that he needs more help/practice with colouring in.

We have also had lots of play, meeting up with others, days out, etc. with much more planned for the rest of the school holidays.

I would love to hear how other people are coping with the school holidays with their child with Sensory Processing disorder. Or any tips/strategies that they use.

We received a free Chill Factor Jelly Maker and Summer Gold Stars Maths book for purposes of review. No other compensation has been given. Words and opinions are my own.

Driving Test passed by Teen with Aspergers

July 29, 2014Personal Postsaspergers, driving, teenSensory Seeker

Our Teen with Aspergers is Driving

Only yesterday I was doing my A-levels whilst pregnant. So how is it today that the baby I was carrying is now the proud owner of a full driving license?! How did the time go so quickly? 7 years ago I would never have believed that this day would come. My son was struggling in so many areas, and had been newly diagnosed with Aspergers’ syndrome. Now we have so much hope for him and his future., driving is just the start. In fact now we are ~~struggling~~ trying to get him to decide on Universities and courses! We have established that he does want to go, and has an end goal of what he wants to do – but that’s it. Actually looking at them and making a decision for himself – well that’s just another hurdle. But for today we celebrate that our teenage with Aspegers can drive.

Now for the next nightmare. Insurance – omg! It seems the more expensive car that is bought the cheaper the insurance – but is that wise? And will he know what to do (socially) when out on his own? I guess it is natural for all mothers to worry (Aspergers or not). And actually the sensible lad in him is very reassuring. What about the other idiots on the road though – eek. Today someone walked across the road (fully) then (without looking) ran back again in front of me. I think everyone around was shocked, and horrified. Me I was just glad I pressed the brakes fast enough. The poor guy who was nearly hit couldn’t say sorry enough, I was just shocked speechless. My 11 year old (who was in the front) just said that he hoped that never happened to his brother. But I am sure my oldest will be fine. And when I have got over worrying about him, I am sure it will be his little brother’s turn!

He is Disabled

June 28, 2014Education, Personal Postsdisabled, failing, schoolSensory Seeker

Being reminded that he is disabled

I think the main problem I am having with deciding whether to hold our son back at school a year or not is that it means accepting there’s something ~~wrong~~ not quite right with him. Funny as we all know he is disabled, he gets disability money and has full-time one-to-one support at school. It is easy to compare him to others with disabilities and think that the term really does not apply to him. He is so behind his peers in so many areas, but yet he’s just our son. Sometimes it’s easy to think that it is me with the “problem” – not giving him enough attention, bad parenting, I do not have the patience. I would rather those things be true and strive to help him as much as I can. But the reality of it is it is him and the fear that he may never develop further is frightening.

Pushing all these fears away and just being positive not thinking that he is disabled really helps with day to day life. So he wets himself and doesn’t sleep at night – lots of children do that at aged 5, he is still young. If he moves up then I could see that as a problem as he may be the only child to do those things. If he stays down then those younger than him may overtake him.

The Fears

I know this is covering old ground but the decision day is getting closer. I had a chat with him and he really wants to move up. On days when I forget that he is disabled he seems so level headed, and that it would just be stupid not to let him move up. Suggesting that he will fail before we even let him try. But should we not upset him and just wait for him to fail, or should we nurture him and prevent him from failing. I know that the education system is more likely to help the school financially after he has failed – but we are lucky that he’s at a good school and they do not want that. He’s had a lot of changes lately and he’s not been himself. I had the back door open earlier and I told him not to go outside. I said that it was too wet. It was fresh air – I didn’t add that. I just said, “Kyle, don’t go outside. It is wet.” He is five years old. He said, “What did you say?” and I repeated it. Then he repeated, “What did you say?” and I repeated it again. This happened another few times before I just kissed and hugged him. Then I went upstairs and cried. He is disabled and just because it is invisible does not mean that he does not need the help. I have to stop thinking in terms of failing him and think in terms of what is best for him. I wish I had the answers.

But after the decision is made I shall continue being positive for him. He has come such a long way. If he stays behind he will be ahead of his peers. Then that will be good for his confidence. If he moves up then it will be because it has been decided that it is best for him and he can cope. Either way I can forget that he is disabled then he can just be Kyle again.

Repeating Reception Year or Not?

June 23, 2014Education, Personal PostsreceptionSensory Seeker

Some people never get to meet with an Educational Psychologist whilst today I met a second for my son who is only in his reception year at school. The first time was when I was wondering whether to send him to school. She came out to evaluate whether she thought it would be in his best interests to remain in Reception the following academic year. Apparently they do not like to use the term “held back” but that is what in effect it is.

She asked me what his strengths are – that’s easy he is happy. She said that was good, and to be honest if there was anything I could wish for that my children have it is happiness. She explained that research shows that children who stay back in reception year do not make much extra progress. I think that is because they compare themselves and try to identify with those around them. I am not sure my son has that ability to think that way.

He, in my opinion, is a very likable little boy. He has made good friends in reception (and has those all-important party invites that any parent may understand the fear of them possibly never receiving). Would he miss those friends if he was separated from them? Is he so lovely that he’d easily make friends again?

Year 1 is really fast paced compared to Reception – but my husband thinks that may be he needs the push. Currently though he is already falling asleep at school, and does get over-stimulated, or wet himself at school – and that’s with full time support. Would year 1 be too much and lower his confidence?

Also what if he does catch up when he’s older? He can never move back with his peers, and in secondary school everyone will know he was held back. He is a bright lad maybe something will click and he will be on par with his peers. Or there’s the possibility that he will never “get” some of the areas that he is struggling with so there would be no point him not moving up. He may need other ways to help him (he is a very visual learner).

Thankfully the Educationally Psychologist is supporting us whatever the decision. I am sure whatever is decided the school will fully-support him – I cannot say enough how grateful I am for all their help and support. We have his meeting for his review next Monday (and the first time I may hear about this thing that is replacing the Statement).

I have had some feedback of regret about keeping their child back, but then seen others who are pleased they have managed to fight for their child back. So if anyone has any experience or even feelings on this I would love to hear it please.

Batman Mask from a Cardboard Box

March 29, 2014Personal Posts, Play MattersAttention, Batman mask, cardboard box, Fine Motor, playSensory Seeker

Being a mother is hard work, we all know that. So why do we continuously put too many expectations on ourselves? Well I’m learning to let go of them a bit and focus on what’s important. Now that will mean different things to different people. For me I decided that spending quality time with my children is far more important than an immaculate house (in fact even if I had no children I just don’t think it’s in my nature to spend my life keeping a sparkling pin home, as I say we are all different). I know that right now the best thing I can do for my Sensory Seeker needs to help him develop is just play with him. On a Wednesday his brother goes to football club. In fact I think so do most of his friends. But I just don’t think it is fair on anyone that he goes because of his needs. To make up for him missing out on this I make sure we do something together.

The Batman Mask

This week I had a nice sensory activity of salt dough lined up. This is something I have never done before and thought he’d appreciate it (I’d just need to watch that he did not put it in his mouth). But then I saw it THE CARDBOARD BOX. It just kind of screamed at me that it would make an AMAZING Batman mask! He is loving everything related to Superheroes and Villains. I popped it on my head and it was the perfect size. I simply cut out some cereal boxes for ears and stuck them on. Cut out holes for the eyes and mouth – and viola – it was ready for him to paint.

One of his problems has been to develop his attention – how long he can sit at a task. Using something he is interested in has been a great way for helping with this. And he did, he sat and helped paint it all black (we were going for the Lego Batman look).

Also painting Batman was good for helping with his fine motor skills, his hyper-mobility in his hands, turn taking (with the brushes), his self-confidence, he knew to paint around the holes so developed his control, as well as learning that the bigger brush covered more of the box quicker. I learnt that if you add glue to the paint it will cover the tape!

And you know it didn’t really look that good. But he was so pleased. And most importantly we had spent that time together. Oh and he argued it was his Batman mask when I put it on – so he must have liked it.