All posts by Sensory Seeker

He is Disabled

June 28, 2014Education, Personal Postsdisabled, failing, schoolSensory Seeker

Being reminded that he is disabled

I think the main problem I am having with deciding whether to hold our son back at school a year or not is that it means accepting there’s something ~~wrong~~ not quite right with him. Funny as we all know he is disabled, he gets disability money and has full-time one-to-one support at school. It is easy to compare him to others with disabilities and think that the term really does not apply to him. He is so behind his peers in so many areas, but yet he’s just our son. Sometimes it’s easy to think that it is me with the “problem” – not giving him enough attention, bad parenting, I do not have the patience. I would rather those things be true and strive to help him as much as I can. But the reality of it is it is him and the fear that he may never develop further is frightening.

Pushing all these fears away and just being positive not thinking that he is disabled really helps with day to day life. So he wets himself and doesn’t sleep at night – lots of children do that at aged 5, he is still young. If he moves up then I could see that as a problem as he may be the only child to do those things. If he stays down then those younger than him may overtake him.

The Fears

I know this is covering old ground but the decision day is getting closer. I had a chat with him and he really wants to move up. On days when I forget that he is disabled he seems so level headed, and that it would just be stupid not to let him move up. Suggesting that he will fail before we even let him try. But should we not upset him and just wait for him to fail, or should we nurture him and prevent him from failing. I know that the education system is more likely to help the school financially after he has failed – but we are lucky that he’s at a good school and they do not want that. He’s had a lot of changes lately and he’s not been himself. I had the back door open earlier and I told him not to go outside. I said that it was too wet. It was fresh air – I didn’t add that. I just said, “Kyle, don’t go outside. It is wet.” He is five years old. He said, “What did you say?” and I repeated it. Then he repeated, “What did you say?” and I repeated it again. This happened another few times before I just kissed and hugged him. Then I went upstairs and cried. He is disabled and just because it is invisible does not mean that he does not need the help. I have to stop thinking in terms of failing him and think in terms of what is best for him. I wish I had the answers.

But after the decision is made I shall continue being positive for him. He has come such a long way. If he stays behind he will be ahead of his peers. Then that will be good for his confidence. If he moves up then it will be because it has been decided that it is best for him and he can cope. Either way I can forget that he is disabled then he can just be Kyle again.

Just Different

June 27, 2014Research and Charitiescharity, Just differentSensory Seeker

Today at school the children were asked to wear something and make a donation for Just Different, a charity which helps raise awareness of disabilities. Of course my boys have some idea about disabilities, with 2 members of the house having them. Here is a guest post from the Charity Just Different to help explain what the charity is all about.

JustDifferent is a registered charity founded by Toby Hewson, a young man with Cerebral Palsy. Toby’s vision is of a world where everyone is accepted as equal regardless of their disabilities or differences. To achieve this vision Toby has a team of disabled adults who deliver unique workshops about disability and difference, which challenge and change negative perceptions held by children and young people.

“I always find it quite awkward around disabled people, and so when I first walked in, I didn’t really want to take part. But when you started explaining it, I got less afraid, and understand so much better now” Year 9 Pupil

Whilst PHSE education remains a non-statutory subject in the National Curriculum, the DfE states that the subject is an important and necessary part of the pupil’s education. In order to fulfil its duties relating to SMSC a broad and balanced curriculum is required, which meets the pupils’ needs and prepares them for the challenges and opportunities of adult life.

“For many children, contact and direct communication with someone with disabilities is limited or non-existent. This opportunity is an investment in children’s (and teacher’s)
capacity to challenge discrimination” – Teacher Year3

Since 2008 JustDifferent’s workshops have benefited over 159,000 children and young people across the
UK with messages about acceptance and tolerance. These are a platform to dispel myths about disability, tackle discrimination and build a more inclusive society, focusing on children and young people – our next generation of employers, educators and policy makers.

“There is nothing like actually confronting the issues! I think I speak for a lot of teachers when I say that with little personal experience of disability, it is difficult to talk to the children with real meaning and understanding. The workshop was a real learning experience for me and I know that experiences like this are the best way to learn and gain an understanding for children and adults,” Primary Headteacher

If you would like further information about our unique “Disability & Difference” workshops please visit our website www.justdifferent.org or contact Sarah on 01243 778275 or by email at bookings@justdifferent.org

You can find Just Different on Facebook

This is NOT a Sponsored Post.

Repeating Reception Year or Not?

June 23, 2014Education, Personal PostsreceptionSensory Seeker

Some people never get to meet with an Educational Psychologist whilst today I met a second for my son who is only in his reception year at school. The first time was when I was wondering whether to send him to school. She came out to evaluate whether she thought it would be in his best interests to remain in Reception the following academic year. Apparently they do not like to use the term “held back” but that is what in effect it is.

She asked me what his strengths are – that’s easy he is happy. She said that was good, and to be honest if there was anything I could wish for that my children have it is happiness. She explained that research shows that children who stay back in reception year do not make much extra progress. I think that is because they compare themselves and try to identify with those around them. I am not sure my son has that ability to think that way.

He, in my opinion, is a very likable little boy. He has made good friends in reception (and has those all-important party invites that any parent may understand the fear of them possibly never receiving). Would he miss those friends if he was separated from them? Is he so lovely that he’d easily make friends again?

Year 1 is really fast paced compared to Reception – but my husband thinks that may be he needs the push. Currently though he is already falling asleep at school, and does get over-stimulated, or wet himself at school – and that’s with full time support. Would year 1 be too much and lower his confidence?

Also what if he does catch up when he’s older? He can never move back with his peers, and in secondary school everyone will know he was held back. He is a bright lad maybe something will click and he will be on par with his peers. Or there’s the possibility that he will never “get” some of the areas that he is struggling with so there would be no point him not moving up. He may need other ways to help him (he is a very visual learner).

Thankfully the Educationally Psychologist is supporting us whatever the decision. I am sure whatever is decided the school will fully-support him – I cannot say enough how grateful I am for all their help and support. We have his meeting for his review next Monday (and the first time I may hear about this thing that is replacing the Statement).

I have had some feedback of regret about keeping their child back, but then seen others who are pleased they have managed to fight for their child back. So if anyone has any experience or even feelings on this I would love to hear it please.

Sleep tips for those with Sensory Processing Disorder

May 31, 2014Diet, Health & Hygienesleep, sleep tipsSensory Seeker

If sensory issues impact on your child’s bedtime, here are five tips from Antonia Chitty and Victoria Dawson, authors of Sleep and Your Special Needs Child, to help you help your child to sleep more easily.

8 Sleep tips to help your child with sensory issues

Consider every aspect of your child’s bedtime experience in terms of sensory processing and try to think about what they are trying to communicate to you. For example one child got out of bed throughout the night to sleep on the floor, she was showing that she needed firm sleeping surface. Once this was recognised and a more appropriate mattress purchased her sleep patterns improved considerably.
Your sense of smell is at work even when you are fast asleep. For a child who is extremely smell sensitive this can create difficulties at bedtime. Consider any smells that may interrupt their sleep such as cooking late in the evening or a change in washing powder for the bedding that surrounds them.
Some children cannot tolerate the feel of certain textures, others prefer to sleep without clothing on. Experiment with different nightwear until you find something that your child tolerates. If they do not like to wear clothing you need to consider the fact that our body temperature dips during the early hours meaning they are more likely to wake up if they get too cold.
Weighted blankets can help some children to feel more grounded at bedtime. You should always take professional advice from your child’s Occupational Therapist before using weighted blankets.
Some youngsters are extremely light sensitive and prefer a completely darkened room in order to sleep more easily. Blackout blinds can be helpful in creating the right environment, some children cannot tolerate the LED light on a television or light seeping in from underneath the door.
Many children are sound sensitive and may awaken easily. Using white goods noise such as a fan whirring in the background can help to mask out background noises.
Some children like to rock in order to get to sleep, while this can look alarming it can help them to soothe themselves to sleep. Build in rocking activities during the run up to bedtime to help them to feel calm, such as using a swing.
We all have sensory preferences when it comes to sleep habits. Some individuals prefer a firm pillow, others a soft one. As adults we often inflict our own sensory needs on our child when choosing their bedroom and furnishings. Put aside your own preferences and think about what your child prefers, speak with their therapists to allow you to build in their sensory needs during bedtime.

Think about your child’s own preferences, and prioritise these tips to work through, starting with the one that is most appropriate for your child. Introducing one change at a time is easier for the child, can show you which change is most effective, and give you an indicator what else to change to help you and your child have a great night’s sleep.

Sleep and Your Special Needs Child is on offer at just under £9 at time of writing. It addresses sleep problems using a highly successful behavioural and cognitive approach to sleep management, and is the first book to explain these approaches in detail. The practical advice contained is invaluable for parents who want to feel more in control and more confident about tackling sleep issues in a way that is appropriate for their child.

My Review post on Pinkoddy: Sleep and Special Needs

This is a Guest Post. I have received nothing in return for it I just wanted to share the advice.

Party Planning and Sensory Processing Disorder

May 21, 2014Play Matters, Sensory processing disorderavoider, parties, party, seekerSensory Seeker

For children with Sensory Processing Disorder parties are a whole different ball game. I am so proud of how far my Sensory Seeker has come with coping with them. In fact I would go as far to say that at the last party the parents who do not know him would never have thought that he has any additional needs at all. There were signs there (a bit of spinning on the floor and ok maybe the rubbing a cookie on his head) but nothing that couldn’t be put down to a quirky five year old. Of course the problems can change from child to child with Sensory Processing Disorder, and the same child at different times, dependent on whether they are seeking or avoiding, and which areas affect them.

I asked for advice from the experts of Sensory Processing Disorder – that is parents and those who have SPD themselves, through Facebook groups and Twitter, on how to prepare your child for a party and how to plan one yourself when consider the child with Sensory Processing Disorder.

You need to consider whether the child is an Avoider or a Seeker

Remember that your child can fit into both of this categories for the different Sensory areas, or at different times.

The Avoider

If you have a Sensory avoider they may not be interested in attending parties at all. They may be anxious before they even get there and then not even want to join in with the party. The Avoider may not eat, want to leave their parent’s side and become easily upset. They may not like the noise, colours, the crowds, the stimulations.

How to help an Avoider with Parties

Talk to the child about the party and what to expect in the days leading up to it. If possible show them visual aids to familiarise themselves with the venue, or read books about parties. You may need to take ear plugs/defenders and/or sunglasses to help block out the lights and sounds.

If it is not your party then make sure the host is aware of your child’s needs. If it is your child’s party then make sure you have means for the primary caregiver to stay with the child (helping with anxiety/safety and encouraging them to join in) and that you have enough help from others to ensure that the other guests can be looked after.

The Avoider may be upset at little things, so keep it simple. Make things quiet, avoid balloons, flashing lights, loud music/noise, just whisper Happy Birthday and have no singing or fuss, as it may be too much for the sensitive auditory system. A small party is easier to control. They may not eat so make sure you have the food they are most likely to eat. Give them a separate quiet room for them to go to.

The Seeker

May want all the stimulations – lots of balloons, colours, sounds, but over stimulate themselves. Or they may like the feel but be scared of the noise when they go pop. They may become over hyped up and excitable, want to touch everything/everyone, may be spinning all over the place and knocking into other people, jumping on balloons trying to make them burst.

My Sensory Seeker can get a bit hyper about when the party is as he has very little understanding of time. What we found worked is that he has “party clothes” and he now understands that we leave for the party after he has got changed into them. Luckily we have never had a problem entering a party as he is a Seeker – he loves the noise, the colours, and atmosphere, always wanting MORE, MORE, MORE. Now his patience and attention has increased he is able to join in with the party games, but a party that has structure is much better for him.

What we do need to be careful is that he does not get too over stimulated. He seems to self-regulate himself now by doing things such as spinning on the floor. I still have to watch that he doesn’t invade other children’s space too much, or if he spins on the floor that there’s room and he’s not going to trip people up. As I mentioned he has trouble visually seeing food he wants but cannot have. To be fair to him he has developed loads in this area and does no longer grab it, I do see him being more anxious/worked up due to it though. I also need to make sure that he does not put too much food into his mouth at once (stuffing). What food is available can be an issue but there’s usually something unhealthy that he will like (typical birthday food either sandwiches and biscuits or chips). He can be a bit messy and try to pile too much food on his plate. I just supervise him and make sure I take him to wash his hands (you could also take wipes but we are trying to encourage him to move forwards and feel he has an association with babies with them). Plenty of sweets throughout really help him as it gives him something oral he can touch and taste.

Planning a Party for a Child with Sensory Processing Disorder

Party Size and Location

When determining the party location you need to consider the time of year (indoors or outdoors), the number of guests you would like (think about whether the child will be under or overwhelmed and how many you can cope with), whether your child needs plenty of space to move around/a small quiet party – as well as your budget. Also will the other guests need someone to stay and supervise them? Are there any access requirements for the Birthday child or their guests? Also consider their developmental ages and abilities as to a venue’s suitability. If there is food included with the venue then does it meet the needs of the party guests?

Party Food

Personally parties where the food is brought out when it is ready to be eaten suits us better, and it also means that Avoiders will not have the foods’ smells. Also we find cold food is better, as it is dry and not touching. Again you need to consider what the Sensory issues are in regard to the food on making decisions about it, such as whether it is hot or cold, textures and smells. Be careful when it is dished out – my son loves burgers and ketchup but when someone else put his burger in the ketchup he would not eat it.

Neverland Cake from Keep Up With The Jones Family

Time, Duration & Calming down

Consider the time of day of the party, how long your child can handle the sensory input and somewhere/something to help calm them down afterwards. If the child cannot cope with stimulation for long consider having a shorter party. You may want a morning party because the child is anxious about the wait, or you may want a late afternoon party so that it is not long until bedtime.

To help settle down at the end of the party you could put on a film, have an area for playing with Lego, doing some craft or colouring: Use stickers and wax crayons to avoid sensory seekers eating the glue and licking the paint. Or the best calming device we have found technology! (DS or tablet). Or extra stimulus may be needed – such as an obstacle course, a dancing competition, lots of pressure/bear hugs/back rubs.

Party Entertainment & Decoration

The needs of the child with Sensory Processing Disorder are going to greatly determine what kind of party you have, what the entertainment and decorations is going to be like.

To engage the child and keep their attention, whether an Avoider or Seeker, utilising their interests is helpful.

“Does the birthday girl or boy have a love of something – anything… we had a London Bus party one year. Everyone got to take home a beaker, toy bus and pencil crayons.” RosyandBo

A Sensory Seeker is more likely to want music, bouncy castles, a place to run around, lights, balloons, lots of games (musical chairs/statues/bumps) – and so on. Consider the physical abilities of the child (fine and gross motor skills, physical abilities, spatial awareness, developmental ability to cope with losing).

Tramplone Party — Triple Ts Mum Bubble Theme Party Ideas

Whilst the Avoider is more likely to prefer quite, calm maybe a craft party, with little stimulus. Use plain paper for pass the parcel to make it less visually stimulating and easier to understand which layer is being unwrapped. Use a small amount of tape so it is easy to undo. Keeping the music/passing short to avoid distractions/over stimulation.

See Triple T Mum’s Bubble theme decorations

Ideas to focus the Party

Sensory Seekers want more more more utilise what they are interested in:

Dinosaurs, Superheros, Farm, Neverland, Cooking party, bouncing (castle or trampoline), swimming party, a scavenger hunt, art & craft – have a face painter. We sometimes find our Sensory Seeker does not want the feel of paint on his face or then has to rub it everywhere – we find a cheek or even better his arm suits his needs best.

For the Sensory Avoider how about a calm Movie party – with pillows and blankets laid out with a quiet film. Or a Colouring party with colouring in tablecloths or placemats, or just pictures. For more tips on a Simple Party.

Do you have any party ideas? Or more tips on helping with a Party with a Child with Sensory Processing disorder?

Teacher Gifts and Special Educational Needs

May 14, 2014Educationcraft, grow, Teacher appreciation, Teacher gifts, Thank youSensory Seeker

Thank You Teacher Gifts and SEN

When you have a child with Special Needs in school you may find that they have many different people inputting into their education. So when it comes to Thank You Teacher gifts (I stick to the end of the academy year) then you may find that there are quite a few people to cater for. Personally I find home-made gifts not only cheaper but that the personal touch will mean much more than just a bunch of flowers/bottle of wine/chocolates. What a real special keepsake to remind them just how far they have managed to get the child to come.

I am super proud of my Sensory Seeker and very grateful for all that the school have helped him develop with. Some of his achievements are that:

What my Sensory Seeker can do now:

He can write his name.
He knows all of his phonetic sounds.
He can count to ten and recognise all the numbers in figure form.
He has become a lot more independent with many day-to-day activities that he previously could not.
He can recount the whole story of the 3 Little Pigs, in the right order.
He has better attention, more patience and good listening skills.

I am sure that there is much much more, every day he makes me so proud.

With just over 2 months until they break up for the Summer and he moves onto a new teacher I thought it a good time to start looking at some Teacher gifts craft ideas that may be easy enough for him to do.

Things to consider when making Thank You Teacher Gifts with a Child with Special Needs

The child’s ability. You can help them as much or as little as they need. Maybe they can paint but not precisely – how about a pet rocks as teacher gifts – simply by painting a rock and adding googly eyes. How about painting a toilet roll holder, adding a bottom to it with card, and putting some pencils in it – viola stationery holder. Or how about using stickers to make simple teacher gifts. Maybe they are good at colouring? Or like it in the kitchen. Are they a sensory seeker or avoider? If they are avoiding then something like a fingerprint tree may be good as you can just do 1, or as many prints as they will allow to help them get used to the sensation of the paint. Also maybe consider in what areas they have developed – my son has improved with his writing so it would be nice for that to be reflected in the gift.
Think about how long their attention span is. Can they sit to do the craft, or would running and jumping in and out of paint suit them better?

Be prepared for them to follow their own rules and for it not to turn out exactly how you had it in mind.
Reinforce their achievement and be proud, especially if they have struggled or found it hard to focus. A teacher gift is meant to be made with love.
Sensory Seekers will enjoy lots of textures and smells if you can incorporate them into your Teacher gifts.
Background music will help your Sensory Seeker and a quiet room your Sensory Avoider.
Think about how you will calm them down or clean them up. We have a bowl of water and towel next to the paint – as he has a tendency to paint himself and I don’t want all the walls and furniture covered.

Here is a simple idea – make a tape measure by marking out on a yellow piece of paper, then let your child tape it to a flower pot. You can either get your child to grow a flower or buy one. Then attach a note saying “Thank you for helping me grow!”

What problems and strategies do you have when it comes to craft with your child with additional needs?

Personal Pronouns Understanding the difference between He and She

May 7, 2014Educationlanguage, personal pronounsSensory Seeker

The Sensory Seeker was struggling to understand the difference between the personal pronouns he and she. He knew that boys and girls are different but calls them both “he.” The Sensory Seeker does not really understand how people could get upset by being called the wrong thing but guess there’s only so many times a girl wants to be called a boy.

Based on the work by Felicity Durham the personal pronouns activity we did was simple, and great for the visual learner. It simply consisted on the child having a piece of paper divided into two. On one side there was a picture of a boy and the word he and a big empty box underneath, and the other side the same but with a girl and the word she. The same images were then repeated on another piece of paper but smaller (so that there were a total of 16 small image, 8 boys and 8 girls).

First we discussed the pictures by me asking which was a boy and which was a girl. I started with this because I knew he would know the answer. This helped him feel more confident which means it is easier to engage and hold his attention. Next I saw whether he recognised the words “he” and “she,” by sight. He didn’t and sounding them out was difficult as they are not phonetically sounding and so he was reading the ee as eh. I helped him understand and waited until I could hear that he knew and could say them both. Next I took my pile of small images and showed him that they were the same as the large ones. I mixed up the pile and got him to guess which card I would turn over, explaining that he needed to give me the answer “he” or “she.” He got really excited when he got it right and said that it was a point! Even when he did not correctly guess he was beginning to really say “she” (as he had previously only said he). I was firm in that I would not allow him to just point or refer to them as boy and girl. As there were only 16 images it was over quickly and so just right for his attention span.

Encourage Eating

May 1, 2014Diet, Health & Hygienediet, eating, foodSensory Seeker

When my Sensory Seeker was younger I wrote about Fussy eating. Since then we discovered that he has Sensory Processing Disorder, so encouraging him to eat food was not going to be as easy as we first thought. The thing to remember is that are lots of different senses at work when it comes to food. Writing down what he would eat made us feel better as the list was actually a lot longer than we first thought. Trouble is depending on how that food is presented can be a key factor in whether your Sensory Seeker (or avoider) will eat. With me I have found it is a lot of trial and error – maybe keep a diary.

Our Sensory Seeker prefers food to be cold and he does not like foods to be touching. We found that a segregated plate helped, so that he could visually see that the foods were not touching. At a party someone asked if he wanted a cheeseburger but then put it on his plate on top of tomato ketchup. He just would not eat it. Now it’s not even that he does not like ketchup on his cheeseburger, and if he had put the two together that would have been fine. I have long since learnt not to try understand the logic behind how he behaves but just to try and best help him. In this instance I got him another cheeseburger (without ketchup on the bottom). Similarly he will not even try to eat toad-in-the-hole – but loves both sausages and Yorkshire puddings.

To encourage eating we tend to put at least one food on his plate that we know he does like, and one that is new, or we would like him to try. We often use bribery (pudding/computer games etc) rewards to encourage him. We start slowly – maybe getting him to touch the food for several presentations, then lick it, before eating a small piece. We pick our battles. So although we would love him to use cutlery we have decided that stretching his diet is more important for us at this time. Or if he wants to play with the food, and smear it over himself first, we tend to let him do that too – as we know it can result him in eating more. We do have to be careful that he does not stuff too much food into his mouth though – especially hard foods such as raw carrot. We have managed to get more foods into our Sensory Seeker by him seeing them as a treat – such as pancakes and bananas for breakfast.

Things to consider about mealtimes for the child with Sensory Processing Disorder:

What smells are around – from food, other people and the general environment?
What is the temperature like – again from food, for the child, and in the environment?
The appearance of the food – how does it look? Do the foods touch each other? Is it clutter on the plate? Our Sensory Seeker will not eat chicken roll that has bread crumbs around the edges – even if you remove it first.
What colours – is your child with Sensory Processing Disorder under or over stimulated by the colours of the food or their environment?
The textures of the food – is it lumpy, smooth etc?
Is the food cooked? – Our Sensory Seeker loves raw carrots but will not entertain them cooked.

If you have any more hints, tips, problems or ideas please add them in the comments below.

Teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome the benefits

April 2, 2014Asperger's Syndrome, Parentingasperger's syndrome, benefits, teenagerSensory Seeker

I wanted to write a post about the benefits of having a teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome. My teenage son was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome when he was ten years old. He is my first born and none of my other children have reached their teenage years yet. But when I hear people talk about teenagers it all sounds a bit alien to me, and I think that his Asperger’s Syndrome make dealing with a teenager easier.

Teenager Obsessions – or interests

When making a diagnosis on whether someone has Asperger’s Syndrome or not it may be considered whether they have any “obsessions,” but I prefer to call them interests. One of the benefits of having a teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome is that you can easily buy for things for them. Their interests are usually pretty rigid and unlikely to change quickly. This makes planning for birthdays easier. For example, my son really likes Minecraft and so I knew he would be delighted when I ordered him Minecraft cakes and clothing for his 16^th birthday. His interests also make a good bargaining tool – if I say do X, then you can do Y (related to his interest) he will generally do it. The teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome may have interests in common with those younger than their peer group, which is not always a bad thing for their parents.

Those with Asperger’s Syndrome may be more likely to really engage with a task for a long period of time. Again this is largely to do with the their interest. I think this has really helped my teenager stay focused as he knows what he wants (to be a computer games programmer). The teenager with Asperger’s syndrome is more likely to be internally motivated, because they do things on their terms, what they want to do. This is really useful now my son is at an age when thinking about University, as he is less likely to need rewards and praise in return for independent learning.

Taking things literally

A teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome may take everything as black or white, this makes things simple and uncomplicated. For a parent this is amazing – drugs are wrong; smoking is wrong; I could go on but I may get embarrassing. Needless to say my son generally avoids behaviours that are considered dangerous/illegal, things he has been told that he should not do. I have a very thoughtful teenage son who listens to what I say and takes it on board. An example of this is how he does not waste money and is now paying for his driving lessons.

Lack of Social Awareness

Of course a lack of social awareness is generally a bad thing but there are positives to it too. A benefit for a teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome is that they are less likely to get hurt. Not being able to read the signs of so-called friends letting them down, I think can be a good thing (although very painful for the parent). One of the biggest fears I have is one of my children successfully committing suicide and I think without the teenage-friend-wars, or succumb to peer pressure, therefore it is hopefully less likely to happen.

This lack of social awareness means that the teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome may take the lead, without worrying that someone else may want to do it. They KNOW that they are knowledgeable about something and put themselves forward. My son often thinks he is right (and often is) and will not be afraid to vocalise it (note this is not always the case with everything, but I am focusing on the positive). An example of this is the fact that my son has a great memory, this is pretty beneficial when it comes to remembering routes. He has great accuracy too and I am pretty sure he did this for the orientation part of his Duke of Edinburgh.

With little understanding of social norms those with Asperger’s Syndrome are good at contributing without wasting time on small talk. They have no hidden agenda and may be straight to the point, especially with issues that others are worried about bringing up, or when considering the unpopular. They are not over-emotional and can see things logically that others may not. This makes it easier for them to prioritise and stay focused – especially beneficial for their career. The teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome may take things on face value – including people. This means that they are less likely to judge people based on society’s constraints (gender/age/appearance stereotypes for example).

It may be the case that the teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome does not know how to behave in social situations, and so tries to learn the “right” way to behave. Therefore becoming more socially desirable than someone who acts from emotion. I know that if my son has offered to make me a cup of tea, or asks if I am okay – then he’s put even more thought into it than those it comes to naturally.

Rigid Routines – or Being Organised

I would like to think about the routines as the teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome being reliable and organised (although I am aware that my son’s routines aren’t as rigid as some/or used to be). What this means is I know when he will get up in the morning and he is always ready for school on time. With British Summer Time and the clocks going forwards I have really struggled to get into the new routine (and so has my Sensory Seeker that does not understand the clock changes). However, to my teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome the time is just the time, same as it has always been.

Cannot see the bigger picture

Not being able to see the bigger picture means that the benefit for a teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome is that they can focus their attention to detail. This means that they may pick up on things that others may miss. Concentrating on these details can make them a bit of a perfectionist, but you know that they will do a good job.

Hopefully some of these characteristics are personality, and his younger (normal trait) brother will be just the same. From everything I hear about teenagers though, I will not hold my breath.

Do you have teenagers? What are they like? Do they have Asperger’s Syndrome or not?

Batman Mask from a Cardboard Box

March 29, 2014Personal Posts, Play MattersAttention, Batman mask, cardboard box, Fine Motor, playSensory Seeker

Being a mother is hard work, we all know that. So why do we continuously put too many expectations on ourselves? Well I’m learning to let go of them a bit and focus on what’s important. Now that will mean different things to different people. For me I decided that spending quality time with my children is far more important than an immaculate house (in fact even if I had no children I just don’t think it’s in my nature to spend my life keeping a sparkling pin home, as I say we are all different). I know that right now the best thing I can do for my Sensory Seeker needs to help him develop is just play with him. On a Wednesday his brother goes to football club. In fact I think so do most of his friends. But I just don’t think it is fair on anyone that he goes because of his needs. To make up for him missing out on this I make sure we do something together.

The Batman Mask

This week I had a nice sensory activity of salt dough lined up. This is something I have never done before and thought he’d appreciate it (I’d just need to watch that he did not put it in his mouth). But then I saw it THE CARDBOARD BOX. It just kind of screamed at me that it would make an AMAZING Batman mask! He is loving everything related to Superheroes and Villains. I popped it on my head and it was the perfect size. I simply cut out some cereal boxes for ears and stuck them on. Cut out holes for the eyes and mouth – and viola – it was ready for him to paint.

One of his problems has been to develop his attention – how long he can sit at a task. Using something he is interested in has been a great way for helping with this. And he did, he sat and helped paint it all black (we were going for the Lego Batman look).

Also painting Batman was good for helping with his fine motor skills, his hyper-mobility in his hands, turn taking (with the brushes), his self-confidence, he knew to paint around the holes so developed his control, as well as learning that the bigger brush covered more of the box quicker. I learnt that if you add glue to the paint it will cover the tape!

And you know it didn’t really look that good. But he was so pleased. And most importantly we had spent that time together. Oh and he argued it was his Batman mask when I put it on – so he must have liked it.