Tag Archives: aspergers

Iceland with Aspergers

January 2, 2018Asperger's Syndrome, Personal Postsaspergers, flight, flying, icelandSensory Seeker

When it came to our oldest son’s twenty-first birthday I decided that a life-time experience would be best – and that meant travel. After a lot of thought I decided on a surprise trip to Iceland. Having Asperger’s Syndrome and never have flown before, myself and my husband decided that it would be best if I took him on his own. This also meant there was no distraction from the needs of The Sensory Seeker and that the focus was on the birthday boy.

Asperger’s and a Surprise Trip to Iceland

I think we are fortunate enough that our son has come on such a long way, therefore we did not have to prepare him about the trip far in advance. This isn’t going to be the case for a lot of individuals on the autistic spectrum who do not like surprises or generally changes in their routine. If you are taking someone who needs to be prepared then do find out as much information as you can, and prepare visual aids to help them comprehend it all.

It was actually a sort of surprise up until 3 days before we left (when his brother accidentally blurted it out!). Only a sort of surprise because he knew some details, so that he had some manageable bits – and he guessed the rest. I simply asked him to make sure he had his swimming trunks and winter coat. In fact I am really proud that he worked it out from just those two clues – that and the fact that’s where his friends had been. Slowly other details of my plans were leaked out before the big day – so that he was as prepared as could be and was able to ask any questions he had (in his own way). I could also tell him things – such as about not getting his hair wet in The Blue Lagoon (and he was okay about wearing a swim hat). Again he really surprised me because he had read up and spoke to his friends about this type of thing when he had guessed he was going.

Packing was challenging even though we would only be gone for one whole day. I guess a lot of it is the unexpected – knowing it would be colder, but not really how much. The uncertainty of whether what was being packed would be alright. After a whole of day of trying on combinations of clothes and making piles the decision on what to take (and for which day) was made and the cases were packed. I explained what would happen as regards the airport with particular focus on getting through security. This included making sure he knew what would go in the trays and we had what we could put in one bag to make it easier to take out. Also that he could be called over for further checks – but that these were just random and nothing to worry about. We flew Business Class on the way out and I would say if you can afford it then do it, it made things so much easier: From fast lane check-in and the airport lounge – to how we were treated on-board (although it did make for some awkward social moments such as when we were given white flannels before food). There was a lot of time spent in toilets and I am sure this was anxiety more than anything – and generally just needing to give him more time to be ready before we went anywhere.

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I do recommend having things planned at least loosely – and we had a Northern Lights Mystery Tour and a trip to The Blue Lagoon booked. We did not see the Northern Lights (which is why I took him there in the first place) but it was nice to spend some time together and experience such a wonderful place. In hindsight I wish I had booked the meals (we only had breakfast included) but we seem to have managed okay (note Iceland has lots of KFC, Subway and Pizza). We both agreed that right now Iceland isn’t the place for The Sensory Seeker so it is a good job we went alone. Iceland was very dark and cold – with a strong sulphuric smell most of the time.

If you have any questions about a first flight for an adult with Asperger’s Syndrome then do pop them in the comment box below – we may be able to help. Or if you have any tips I am sure other readers will appreciate reading them. There was a special assistance at the airport but we did not take advantage of this service.

Mandatory Reconsideration Outcome for PIP

December 17, 2017Financial help, Personal Postsaspergers, disability benefit, PIPSensory Seeker

I guess that I should not be surprised but the mandatory reconsideration arrived and they had still scored my son zero points. First off I hate the way they write it as if HE has been able to communicate all this stuff to them, when actually I have written it for him by me! The next is the continued lack of respect for his struggles as an adult on the autistic spectrum and the fact that they seem to suggest that only physical disabilities count. So then the next step is to decide whether we will take it to tribunal.

The DWP Tribunal for Personal Independence Payment (PIP)

You have to give it to them that the way they have worded the letter it really makes it feel like there is absolutely no point in going to tribunal. Not only does the mandatory reconsideration keep going over the same things again (like saying what a wonderful rapport my son had with the interviewer – communicating with no problems whatsoever – when actually I spoke for him a lot, he had a panic attack and ended up with his head between his legs trying to breath!) but at no point does it explain what a tribunal is? Why it is any different to what has happened already – just telling you that you only have a month and a website link to visit (www.gov.uk/appeal-benefit.) There are 2 copies of the mandatory consideration notice as one is needed to be sent off for the tribunal.

jumbled up and backwards neon words that make no sense — Photo by Alisa Mulder on Unsplash

Reasons my son scored zero points in his Mandatory Reconsideration

Even at the face consultation the guy asking the questions said that he had a nephew with severe autism. Straight away my son felt compared – and it does feel that is the case. It is very much a case of just get on with it there are people much worse off than you. To be quite honest I would accept that if they did not score him as zero and say that he does not have the problems he has. If they acknowledged them but said unfortunately this benefit isn’t for them I would give up. They have made me feel like giving up with their reply and let’s be honest Christmas time isn’t the ideal period to be dealing with it all.

No problems physically speaking.
- Because my son knows how to speak any problems associated with struggling to communicate have been ignored. Cognitively he should just talk. Feels a bit like they are saying that he should be grateful he is able to communicate and should just get on with it. HOW we are meant to argue against this?! As this is their line of criteria – as far as they are concerned they have evidence that communication is “adequate!” Plus they said he made eye contact – if only communication were that easy!
No physical problems eating.
- Again physically and cognitively my son is able to prepare food (from the tests where he was asked what day of the week it was etc). The fact that he needs prompting, reminding and ideally supervising (to make sure he doesn’t get burnt/eat out of date/raw food etc) does not count when using their criteria.
No input from a psychologist or mental health team and is not on medication.
- No quite he was getting by with just a specialist mentor (who also doesn’t count). Services are hard to get with so many cuts – but I am sure after this ordeal he will need to seek out this support! And unless you are seeing someone/taking tablets then Autistic Spectrum Condition obviously doesn’t affect your daily life (at all as he was scored zero on everything). The likelihood of him getting to see any psychologist or someone from the mental health team within the time period I should imagine is very slim (I guess unless he tries to commit suicide!!!!) and I am not really sure where I go to access such support for him in the first place! To be honest maybe they have done us a favour because we have just been getting by – maybe it is time we asked for help again.

Thank you everyone for your support in our journey so far.

Websites to help with a Personal Independence Payment Tribunal:

Other Posts of Interest:

Christmas Gifts: A Guide for those with Autistic Spectrum Condition

December 7, 2017Asperger's Syndrome, Christmasaspergers, autism, Autistic, Autistic Spectrum Condition, Christmas, Christmas Gifts, gifts, presentsSensory Seeker

When it comes to buying Christmas Gifts for those with Autistic Spectrum Condition I think that what it is easy to forget that the recipient still likes the same presents as other people. What may be different is that they may be a little more restricted in their likes and dislikes. It is important to remember that everyone is an individual, and this is definitely the case for those with Autistic Spectrum Condition. Although there are some things that seems to have a common element to them; with that in mind I asked some British Women with Asperger’s Syndrome for their thoughts on Christmas Gifts. Note that most of this will also apply to those with Sensory Processing Disorder but it was a bit of a mouthful putting both each time.

Buying Christmas Gifts for Indivudals with Autistic Spectrum Condition

I think it is important to remember that just because you like certain Christmas Gifts then this does not mean that someone else will too. Some of the women with Asperger’s Syndrome expressed how actually they really would rather not have any Christmas gifts at all, than the wrong ones. That mountains of Christmas gifts can be overwhelming – especially for those who are sensory avoiders – with all that colour being be too much! Some even prefer no gifts at all, not wanting their space to be filled with something they do not want or need. Not wanting to waste money for the sake of it. Instead why not club together with other members to buy one perfect present. However, something small and appropriate is better than spending lots of money for the sake of it. Something homemade/handmade is a nice idea or what about an experience or day out – even better still accompany them on it to help reduce any anxiety.

The Christmas Gift of Alone Time

Sometimes those with Autistic Spectrum Condition may find the best Christmas Gift is that of some alone time. This may be just to shut off from the world, to cope with a meltdown, or to relax, for example. This could be a place to hide (like a tent), or a trip away to a spa/night away, or even just back to some bath products for them to find some peace. Again how you decide on the perfect time alone will depend on the individual’s needs. Personally I need to sleep to cope with the changes that Christmas brings, it is what helps me to reset – and therefore some nice new pjs are perfect for this! (with the right textures of course, I hate those hot fluffy tops!)

Giving the Wrong Christmas Gift to the Individual with Autistic Spectrum Condition

Giving someone with autistic spectrum condition the wrong Christmas gift can be even more stressful than not getting them a present at all. They may feel that they have to pretend to like it or be called ungrateful for not being happy with the givers choice. This may ruin their Christmas as they try to hold it in until they end up having a meltdown about it. That is if it doesn’t eat away at them for months because they want to be grateful and are thrilled someone has put so much thought into it- but they really don’t like it! Often generic gifts are unwelcome and they may then hate how unwanted Christmas gifts clutter up their home. This can leave them feeling really anxious about what they are supposed to do with them and find it hard to get rid of. This could especially be the case if the gift is useful but they just have too many of them (like socks!). Again presents that interfere with their Sensory needs will be unwelcome even if well meaning – such as smells they have not chosen (shampoos, perfumes, candles, etc); foods (which may be too rich, or not spicy enough); make-up (which may not have the right texture) and jewellery (again the touch and visual being not to their liking).

Christmas Gifts Guide for Someone with Autistic Spectrum Condition

Christmas Gifts Based on Special Interests

The individual with Autistic Spectrum Condition often has special interests which will make it easier in finding Christmas gifts that they will like. It may be clear what their special interest is and then you just need to ask yourself whether they already have said item related to that gift – and if so would they like another! Books about their main interest is often an item to avoid because if they wanted it then they would most likely have already read it. It may be hard to get the individual with Autistic Spectrum Condition to wait for Christmas to receive something because they may just want something when it is available (I struggle with this particular with my oldest son with Asperger’s Syndrome and his special interest of computer games, which are released around a month before Christmas!). If they don’t want a duplicate item then make it easy for them to return it with a gift receipt – which will also help make it clear that you won’t be offended if it isn’t what they wanted.

Don’t get hung up about age-appropriateness of the gifts either – if they still like Thomas the tank engine in their teens then why try to dictate that they have something else? It’s about developmental appropriateness and where that individual is at. Surely Christmas is a time for happiness. Again consider whether such an item is suitable for their sensory, verbal, gross and fine motor levels of development. For example, it does not matter how old someone is, if they are still putting everything in their mouths then small pieces of LEGO are not ideal, nor are they any good for someone without good fine motor control (although they could help with developing it). Board games may be too complex cognitively for their age even though they state that they should be able to play it – but then can it be adapted. . If it is a child that you are buying for then it is easy to check with their parents.

You may be interested in my Christmas Gift Guide for Pokemon Fans and LEGO Christmas Gift inspiration.

Clothes as Christmas Gifts for those with Autistic Spectrum Condition

Clothes can be a really complex area when considering buying Christmas gifts for someone with Sensory Processing Disorder and/or Autistic Spectrum Condition. This may be due to knowing exactly their needs – are they are sensory seeker or sensory avoider? Do they like a tight or lose fight? What is the feel of the material like? How does the visual of the item make them feel? Where are the seams and labels? Is it soft or scratchy? How much of the skin do they touch? Do they have problems with the fit (too tall/too short)? Clothes as Christmas Gifts could annoy some people with Autistic Spectrum Condition, seeing it as rude and assumptions to determine what someone else should wear, whereas someone else might love to get right the right piece (such as some over the knee socks!) – so it is really important to think about their individual likes).

I remember my mom being surprised when I HATED the leggings she bought me with the gold spots on because I LOVED the top that was exactly the same – but to me it wasn’t and it made me feel ill. Likewise now I cannot find a pair of jeans I like for love nor money (they have changed the design and they are really tight on my legs), and I have worn jeans for as long as I can remember! I don’t like change and that is the same when it comes to clothes. I also like clothes that are practical – big pockets, zip pockets so I do not have to carry a bag with me. Plus I hate long sleeves as I get hot easily.

Practical and Sensory Christmas Gifts for those with Autistic Spectrum Condition

As I said I love things that are practical – anything that makes my life easier. That said there’s a thin line between a thoughtful useful gift and me being insulted (I would go mental if anyone bought me the pots and pans we need as it is like it is implying I should be cooking, rather than being something for me personally). You need to once again think about the individual person, especially if they have sensory needs.For example I really do like expensive shampoo, conditioner and body washes as they are things that I use anyway but have a touch more luxury (as long as they smell okay, as the wrong smells can make me feel sick). This seemed to be common with the other ladies on the Autistic Spectrum who enjoyed getting toiletries IF they were the right ones – don’t assume and buy the wrong ones. Lush products seem to be popular with their glittery colourful bath bombs, particularly as so many of the ladies with Asperger’s Syndrome found the shop hard to navigate with the overpowering of too many smells and colours, and pushy shop assistants wanting to speak to them. Again remember this will not apply to every individual with Autistic Spectrum Condition.

Of course Sensory Christmas Gifts may be very welcome offerings for those with Sensory Processing Disorder and/or Autistic Spectrum Condition and could help improve their lives. Sensory enriching products include pretty lights (fairy, ones for the bath, lighting up the ceiling and walls, colour changing objects, projectors and salt/lava lamps); things with nice textures (pillows, teddy bears); a bubble machine; art equipment (visually pleasing and allowing the individual to be creative); a range of fiddle toys and noise cancelling headphones (although I just have wireless headphones and I play music through them and this works well for myself).

For children with Sensory Processing Disorder and/or Autistic Spectrum Condition some practical things that they may love (dependent on age and ability) are a trampoline, bicycle/scooter, LEGO and board games – as the former are great for getting them moving (beneficial to both sensory seekers and sensory avoiders); and the latter develops fine motor skills, patience, following instructions and even turn taking.

Getting it Right when Buying Christmas Gifts for Someone with Autistic Spectrum Condition

The biggest suggestion given for buying Christmas gifts for Someone with Sensory Processing Disorder and/or Autistic Spectrum Condition is to just ask what they like instead of assuming that they are all a hive-mind who like the same things. Many people on the Autistic Spectrum like routine and therefore changes are not welcome, so do not obsess that presents must always be surprise. Maybe have a traditional gift, that you know they like, and can give every year. Something practical like a calendar maybe (of their special interest). But then do bear in mind that if they suddenly do not receive it then this can also cause some issues.

Another idea is to look at their wish list, that way there is still an element of surprise but in a controlled way that means they will still receive something they like. This can be done either by creating an online wishlist (like on Amazon) or they could print off specific pictures of Christmas Gifts they want. Those with Autistic Spectrum Condition may be aware that they are difficult to buy for and therefore would not be offended if you decided to play it safe with a gift card; as long as you do not get it wrong. Does anyone like being told what to do or where to shop? So make sure you know that they would appreciate a specific store to spend their gift card at. Clothes shops (see above) are usually not a good idea. Instead why not buy Gift Cards which can be used at many different places/buy a variety of things – such as Amazon gift cards or Love 2 Shop Vouchers. But do not be afraid to give money especially if it what they have asked for – as this may anger them, especially if they are trying to save up for something. Alternatively you could use a pre-paid debit card.

Opening the Christmas Gifts with Individuals with Autistic Spectrum Condition

Those with Autistic Spectrum Condition may feel uncomfortable being watched opening their Christmas Gifts. This is because people with autistic spectrum condition may struggle with emotions – including hiding their own. It might not even be anything to do with the gift itself but, as mentioned, many do not like surprises. Or it could be a case of their expression not matching what they would like to communicate. The anxiety of the “wrong present-face” may make them not want to open their presents at all. An example I was given was someone who was opening a perfectly lovely present got sticky-tape under their nail and pulled a, “ewww gross horrible!” face and was scolded for it.

Thank you to all the ladies with Asperger’s Syndrome who helped me to compile this article. If you have any further insights I would love to hear them. And a Merry Christmas to you all.

Related Posts of Interest:

Living in Limbo – Life with No Diagnosis

June 30, 2017Personal Postsadult, aspergers, diagnosisSensory Seeker

I really do hate the school run because it means interacting with people. When I come home I am actually drained to the point where I have to sleep. I have even started taking antidepressants and fighting off the need to recuperate until the afternoon. But it is no good I can only reset myself with sleep. Then I have to do the school run again. I was put on these tablets fourteen months previously when I went to ask the doctors about a referral for seeing whether I have Asperger’s Syndrome. He told me it didn’t matter and that I could tell people I have if I liked – and wrote out the prescription. Ever since I have just been taking the tablets and paying for repeats. But still nothing is easier.

This morning on the school run a random man who works for the council called me a bully. I asked him what he meant and he laughed and said I had stolen my son’s scooter. I told him it was mine. My son was on his own scooter and mine (adult size too) has flowers on. I don’t get it – was he trying to tell a joke? People always have to comment on my scooter – there’s always something. But it isn’t just my scooter – it’s my clothes and other things too. I get hot really easily and hate to overheat. I was wearing shorts the other day when the sky was grey but it was still really warm. Again always said in this “jokey” way was whether my weather app was wrong! I am sure it was a joke but I can’t help it I just feel the need to explain that I get hot and can’t cope.

The doctor said that it was unlikely I was on the spectrum because I was aware that people treat me this way. That I want to fit in. He said I just haven’t had the right role models – teaching me how I am meant to behave in certain situations. But I thought that social skills were meant to come naturally? He said I could make a list. But I have no energy all the time. Surely someone should just be able to assess me and see. Why does it always have to be proven? I have begun to accept myself whether I have or haven’t got Asperger’s. Explaining to people that I don’t always say the right thing, or do the wrong thing or even get what is expected of me. It is up to them how they behave back towards me then. I do not know what more I can do.

X+Y – Film Review

July 27, 2015Reviewsaspergers, autistic spectrum disorder, x+ySensory Seeker

X+Y is an emotional British drama inspired by a true story. A story of growing up, leaving home, maths, relationships, loss and Autistic Spectrum disorder. Nathan (played by the young and talented Asa Butterfield) who following his diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome loses his dad. He seems to be the one person who really understood Nathan and made him happy. We see how hard Nathan’s mother Julie (Sally Hawkins) tries to understand her son but she fails even to get him to let her hold his hand.

Nathan is gifted at Mathematics and is spotted by an unconventional teacher Mr. Humphreys (Rafe Spall) and lands a place on the International Mathematical Olympiad UK squad. It is just when you want to scream at your television that not all kids with Aspergers are savants the film comes into its own and shows that in the team Nathan isn’t superior – he’s just average. He no longer feels weird, and in contrast another boy, Luke (Jake Davies) also has Asperger’s and is very different to Nathan. The harrowing contrast between someone on the Autistic Spectrum finding love and being happy, to that of not fitting in to a sad extent. I think that anyone who has been touched by Autism will enjoy this film. I think it does a good job of bringing about awareness of the condition in a watchable way. Be prepared to be moved to tears.

This film portrays Autistic Spectrum Disorder and Sensory Issues well – as Nathan struggles to understand others, communicate and cope with visual and auditory stimulation. I watched this film with my husband and we agreed that we saw some parallels with our own son with Asperger’s syndrome – such as sometimes he just needs to be really pushed to do the things he feels uncomfortable with.

In saying that there were also areas of the film which we felt ignored the fact that Nathan was on the Autistic Spectrum – such as his (and his mother’s) ease at him moving out of home, and the general adapting to changes without any seeming problems.

This film is a 12 and I think that there are some scenes to that viewers may find emotionally distressing, including scenes of injury and self-harm.

I received a free copy of X+Y for purposes of review. I was also given a book and some maths equipment. All words and opinions are my own.

Asperger’s Syndrome: Is there any point seeking a diagnosis as an adult?

April 8, 2015Asperger's Syndrome, Personal Postsaspergers, diagnosisSensory Seeker

Is there any point seeking a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome as an adult?

I often wonder whether it is worth being assessed for whether I have Asperger’s Syndrome or not. But as an adult is there any point in seeking a diagnosis even if I did? It has been hard enough fighting for support for my children, never mind myself. Is there even much support out there for adults with Asperger’s Syndrome: For women even? Where would I begin and what would it achieve.

Why I even considered that I may have Asperger’s Syndrome

I first started to consider that I may have Asperger’s Syndrome when a seed was planted in my head when my oldest son was diagnosed. We were asked whether I had any traits as part of his diagnosis. I often have `meltdowns’ but have always just put them down to all the undealt with issues from my childhood. We did mention the fact that I cannot have hangers with nothing on them left in the wardrobe in between clothes. I hate change and really struggle with it. And of course I really struggle with relationships whether people want to admit it or not. I do not understand really the concept of things not being the way the rules say and just ignoring it. I know people do not like to be corrected and if I think hard about it I can stop myself from acting – but the thoughts are still there. I am sure there a lots more reasons that put me in the three areas of the triad but I try not to think about it too much as I feel like I am trying to make myself fit when I may not.

What would a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome mean for me?

But a diagnosis (if I were) – well that wouldn’t change any of that would it. Possibly if I knew there was a cause would that make me feel any better about myself? And what if it was determined that I wasn’t on the Spectrum – would that make me feel bad that I have these behaviours with no reason – would the Asperger’s give me a reason to feel so different? Am I just hoping that it would give me a sense of belonging? Would there be any help I could access to help me fit in better? I mean I know that I am useless at small talk: I can barely even manage to say hello how are you on social media when I have something I want to discuss. I have made myself aware of this and try to at least apologise and say it afterwards – or is this normal? Am I actually just too self-absorbed?

If you have been diagnosed, or know of anyone who has, as an adult – then how did you know? And what did you do?

You may have found this page and discovered that I do not have Asperger’s Syndrome, or would like to talk to someone who has received a late diagnosis, therefore I can recommend that you visit Jax’s who has.

I would really appreciate any feedback on this topic please. x

Bullying & Autistic Spectrum Disorder

October 29, 2014Asperger's Syndrome, Diet, Health & Hygieneaspergers, bullyingSensory Seeker

Bullying is a problem for too many children, but a child on the Autistic Spectrum may be more at risk than their peers. They are also less likely to be able to make it stop, as they struggle with social communication. They might not even be able to tell those close to them. The National Autistic Society have written a guide on bullying for parents. In this post I talk about bullying and Asperger’s syndrome, as experienced by my son.

Victims of Bullying generally are either: Passive Targets – those with low self-esteem, shy, academic, on their own, smaller, weaker OR Pro-Active Targets – those with inappropriate behaviour, socially clumsy, perceived as irritating, attention-seeking and not knowing when to stop. Children on the autistic spectrum are more likely to be a target for bullies because they may be seen as different because they cannot always relate to the situation they are in – or communicate what is going on. Children who are on the Autistic Spetrum are often perceived as being low in social status & friendship (having few friends to defend them). They are naive, gullible, & eccentric. They are neither cool, macho or popular and are perceived as ‘soft’

I remember my oldest son ~~crying~~ upset that he did not want to go to school when he was only 7 years old. Now granted, he was at a new school, where he had to make new friends and the rest of the children had known each other a long time – but we’d moved a lot and he was used to this. He ~~loved~~ enjoyed school and has always worked hard, so it came as a bit of a shock. This actually was one of the first big moves towards him being diagnosed as having Asperger’s Syndrome.

Things can be very black and white.

I remember my son being confused as to why he was in trouble when one of the boys told him it was “a good idea” to bend another boy’s fingers back.

Those on the Autistic Spectrum are unable to distinguish between who are bullies and who are friends. They are unable to differentiate between friendly sparring and physical attacks.

Our son often kept complaining to the teacher that he had been hit so many times that they stopped taking him seriously – they said he complained as if he had been punched when someone so much as accidentally brushed passed him. Fortunately, the school was very supportive. I went in and explained the situation and they put things in place to help him. They made break times (when he was less supervised) more structured by introducing chess club. He also had a dinner lady buddy – that if he had ANY problems (even the seemingly most trivial) he could go and speak to them. They encouraged circle time sessions where children would focus on each other’s strengths.

I hear of so many children who end up being Home educated because of bullying. Do you have a story to share about bullying and ASD? I would especially like to hear any success stories.

Images maybe subject to copyright, used for illustration purposes only.

Driving Test passed by Teen with Aspergers

July 29, 2014Personal Postsaspergers, driving, teenSensory Seeker

Our Teen with Aspergers is Driving

Only yesterday I was doing my A-levels whilst pregnant. So how is it today that the baby I was carrying is now the proud owner of a full driving license?! How did the time go so quickly? 7 years ago I would never have believed that this day would come. My son was struggling in so many areas, and had been newly diagnosed with Aspergers’ syndrome. Now we have so much hope for him and his future., driving is just the start. In fact now we are ~~struggling~~ trying to get him to decide on Universities and courses! We have established that he does want to go, and has an end goal of what he wants to do – but that’s it. Actually looking at them and making a decision for himself – well that’s just another hurdle. But for today we celebrate that our teenage with Aspegers can drive.

Now for the next nightmare. Insurance – omg! It seems the more expensive car that is bought the cheaper the insurance – but is that wise? And will he know what to do (socially) when out on his own? I guess it is natural for all mothers to worry (Aspergers or not). And actually the sensible lad in him is very reassuring. What about the other idiots on the road though – eek. Today someone walked across the road (fully) then (without looking) ran back again in front of me. I think everyone around was shocked, and horrified. Me I was just glad I pressed the brakes fast enough. The poor guy who was nearly hit couldn’t say sorry enough, I was just shocked speechless. My 11 year old (who was in the front) just said that he hoped that never happened to his brother. But I am sure my oldest will be fine. And when I have got over worrying about him, I am sure it will be his little brother’s turn!