It is that time of year again – Party Season. I know it is hard when a child is different to others to cope with their additional needs at a party – but honestly The Sensory Seeker is doing so well that I would actually say he isn’t much different to the others. I do understand that not everyone needs to be invited to every party but it is hard (probably more for me than him) when he is that child: You know the only child out of the whole class who hasn’t been invited.
Socially Not Fitting in At School
It isn’t even so much about the party it’s about him knowing he’s not fitting in. That it is okay for everyone else to go so why not him as well? The ironic thing today was that he came out with a sheet about worries – the school obviously trying to get disclosures for social services with the use of a Worry Monster.
Ironic because they weren’t very sympathetic to listening to these worries; simply saying there’s nothing we can do. I explained that I knew they couldn’t make him be invited to the party (although I am sure his EHC Plan probably does make provision to ensure that he socialises/fits in with his peers) and that I didn’t like how it was so apparent to him that he was the only one not invited (erm like they had all been handed out in front of him).
They tried to reassure me that they had only been given out at break time. It is real progress that he is getting so smart. Previously he never noticed this happening but still wanted a party to invite everyone to. A blessing and a curse of his development.
His birthday is coming up and we are taking him out of the country instead of a party. However, he wants to have a sleepover a different day this year. He doesn’t really care who it is (well actually his first preference is his 14 year old cousin who doesn’t live near us!). All he wants is just a friend – someone who wants to spend time with him. But again the school will tell me that he does have friends, that he is a happy and likable member of the class – so how come he doesn’t feel that he is/has because he isn’t invited?
Disclaimer: He is invited to the odd party and I am very thankful to those parents. I just wish this wasn’t even a thing. Why invite all but one?!
4 thoughts on “The Only Child Not Invited”
Oh I feel for you. I don’t get that either, the all but one thing. Although last year when Sasha was in hospital I did just that, totally by accident, one invite got lost (was all girls not all class but still bad). Wish school had felt they could ask me but I suppose it’d because they know there are parents who do it intentionally so they can’t 😔 It’s so heartless, and cowardly.
That’s aweful. Maybe they just missed him on the class list. I know that I double, triple check the class valentines cards before sending them in for this very reason. Maybe if you can talk with the person hosting the party to see if they justed missed him on the list. If it was intentional then that’s just not right! Maybe let him have a friend over that day if that’s the case…might make him feel better.
That sounds so hard and I have no idea why anyone would want to do that to any child, never mind one that doesn’t understand
I think it’s wrong. I have a friend whose child never gets invited to parties because she’s diabetic. I don’t think children should be isolated for any reason, additional needs or not.
I have always felt that you should either invite less than half of the class, or the whole class.
We went to a party recently and the mum told me she’d invited 25 children at £20 each. There are 28 in the class and I couldn’t bite my tongue. I asked “how did you decide which 3 children to not invite?”. She said “oh it’s not like that! My daughter chose who to invite”. I’m sorry but I don’t feel that leaving those 3 children out was an ethical decision. It was such an expensive party it couldn’t have been about money. And if it had been about money, why invite so many in the first place?
I’m so sorry your son has to experience this. It breaks my heart. Xx
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