Is there any point seeking a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome as an adult?
I often wonder whether it is worth being assessed for whether I have Asperger’s Syndrome or not. But as an adult is there any point in seeking a diagnosis even if I did? It has been hard enough fighting for support for my children, never mind myself. Is there even much support out there for adults with Asperger’s Syndrome: For women even? Where would I begin and what would it achieve.
Why I even considered that I may have Asperger’s Syndrome
I first started to consider that I may have Asperger’s Syndrome when a seed was planted in my head when my oldest son was diagnosed. We were asked whether I had any traits as part of his diagnosis. I often have `meltdowns’ but have always just put them down to all the undealt with issues from my childhood. We did mention the fact that I cannot have hangers with nothing on them left in the wardrobe in between clothes. I hate change and really struggle with it. And of course I really struggle with relationships whether people want to admit it or not. I do not understand really the concept of things not being the way the rules say and just ignoring it. I know people do not like to be corrected and if I think hard about it I can stop myself from acting – but the thoughts are still there. I am sure there a lots more reasons that put me in the three areas of the triad but I try not to think about it too much as I feel like I am trying to make myself fit when I may not.
What would a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome mean for me?
But a diagnosis (if I were) – well that wouldn’t change any of that would it. Possibly if I knew there was a cause would that make me feel any better about myself? And what if it was determined that I wasn’t on the Spectrum – would that make me feel bad that I have these behaviours with no reason – would the Asperger’s give me a reason to feel so different? Am I just hoping that it would give me a sense of belonging? Would there be any help I could access to help me fit in better? I mean I know that I am useless at small talk: I can barely even manage to say hello how are you on social media when I have something I want to discuss. I have made myself aware of this and try to at least apologise and say it afterwards – or is this normal? Am I actually just too self-absorbed?
If you have been diagnosed, or know of anyone who has, as an adult – then how did you know? And what did you do?
You may have found this page and discovered that I do not have Asperger’s Syndrome, or would like to talk to someone who has received a late diagnosis, therefore I can recommend that you visit Jax’s who has.
I would really appreciate any feedback on this topic please. x
I think so many people are on the spectrum somewhere without realising it. I think a diagnosis would help you to understand yourself and maybe you would be kinder to yourself. It probably wouldn’t change anything but I think it would be worth doing, just for your own piece of mind
Thank you – guess it would be one less thing I would be over-thinking about.
I have lots of similar questions here: it has been suggested that I have aspergers like my son, and it would certainly make a lot of sense, but I don’t know what I would do with a diagnosis anyway!
I think it does depend on why you’d want one. I think it would be definitely be something for me to understand myself more, not something for others.
I can see your dilemma but on the whole I think a diagnosis, if it were the case, may be helpful. You often seem to be quite hard on yourself and like Nikki says, especially after all you have been through, if it could make you feel kinder towards yourself that must be a good thing right?
Thank you x
I am going through the assessment myself for very similar reasons, and would suggest that a diagnosis is certainly helpful either way and for me it’s more of a self-discovery mission. Have you tried the online AQ, EQ or SQ tests yet as a sort of pre-screening tool? x
Yes that’s definitely how I feel – trying to understand myself. Yes those online screening things always come up high. And thank you x
If it were me, I think I would need to find out. Like J says above, if you did get a diagnosis, it might make a few things seem clearer. A hard decision though, and I could see why you would choose not too as well… x
I think the not to is just the time wasted if I am not. And people thinking I am just attention seeking.
Having taught many kids some with diagnosis and more without I think it helps explain yourself to others but in practical daily life I am not sure what it achieves. People will treat you no differently and they will not understand you and more or less because of a label.
I think if I was diagnosed it would make things make sense to me. And stop trying to fight things about myself I maybe can’t change. Thank you it is interesting to see it from your point of view, a new angle.
It’s truly only YOU who can answer whether it would help anything or not? If you think it would be useful to be able to attribute certain behaviours to Asperger’s, then go for it. Whether to get a diagnosis or not is solely down to whether the outcome is going to help you in any way – psychologically or practically? Good luck with your decision x
I think going for an assessment or not is a personal choice. I chose to because I needed to know for me. In the last 15 months since I was first referred, I’ve changed my mind so many times about whether I could be, whether I’m really just an attention seeker, a horrible person etc. I found the assessment really stressful and thought I messed it up and wished I’d never started… But now it’s over, and I have the diagnosis (only a couple of weeks ago), I’m glad I did. I know for me. I can now access therapy for anxiety/depression that might actually work. I can read the list of things I (didn’t know) I might find harder and work ways round so I can achieve my goals. I can allow myself that recovery time after social interactions and not feel pathetic and lazy that I feel so tired. I can make decisions based on how I actually feel rather than what I think I ought to do. It’s not going to happen overnight, and I need to work on things, but I feel a lot more positive about my future, and my abilities as a parent. I’m almost 40, and part of me wonders what it would have been like if I’d been diagnosed 20 years ago, and I did go through a grieving process when I first started to seriously suspect that I was, but knowing now is good for me. Good luck with whatever you decide, and if you want to chat then message me anytime.
Very interesting post Joy, and lots of food for thought. I can’t offer any helpful advice – i think it’s a very personal decision and one that only you can make. If a diagnosis would help you feel better to give it a name though, I definitely say go for it. xx
very interesting to read…will read Jax’s post too now x
I was diagnosed at the age of 59, and am now 62. Several thoughts.
A diagnosis allows you to utilize the Americans with Disabilities Act, for job protections. It may also provide medical data that would enable you to receive Social Security Disability.
I am recovering from a life-threatening major depressive episode. I am medicated for depression and anxiety, two conditions common to adults on the spectrum. Had I not been diagnosed, the explanation for many events in my life would not exist and my mental illness, I believe, would be much worse.
I describe my ASD diagnosis as being reborn. I can now see that events that I ruminated about for decades were directly related to my Aspergers and I can leave them behind.