Tag Archives: teen

Could I have Missed Signs that my Son has Autism

Frogs and Snails and Puppy dog’s Tails

Could I have Missed Signs that my Son has Autism?

There’s a question I want to ask, that I need to find out the answer – but not sure I can. I don’t know whether it will do more harm than good. See thing is I believe there’s a strong possibility that my child have Autism. Sadly the only reason I opened my eyes to notice is when his behaviour suddenly went out of control. No one had mentioned Autism with this particular son before this point (he is almost a teenager) and now those mentions of it feel like they are being swept under the carpet: I was then told that “everyone has Autism in some shape or form!”

Frogs and Snails and Puppy dog’s Tails

Looking back now though it falls into place, and I can’t believe that I was too wrapped up in my other children’s additional needs that I could have missed the signs. When did he start fiddling? Making sounds? Clicking his fingers?  Did he always not like changes of routine? Not being prepared? Has he always been awkward because things have been irritating him (clothes/heat/smells etc)? Is he not actually being rude but doesn’t know how to handle his emotions/know what to say? He never really did have a group of friends – well not until he got in with the wrong crowd and started behaving inappropriately. I always felt he was just trying to get attention (his oldest and youngest siblings having special needs). I feel awful that sometimes I just thought he was being “just a boy” and misbehaving: Like spoiling surprises, saying the wrong thing.Could I have Missed Signs that my Son has Autism

But now I have opened my heart to compassion and am trying to stop and listen to what his behaviour has being showing me.  I feel unbelievably guilty and now feel I can’t do anything about it – as the blame for his behaviour has heavily been pointed at me. We are not talking other parents in the playground, or some health visitor suggesting I need a parenting course. No. This blame has come from my own child. A statement he made that I can only assume was to keep him out of trouble. Words said that almost destroyed me, and took all my children from me. Questioned as to whether The Sensory Seeker is actually only that way due to the environment that I have brought him up in (thank goodness I had someone to leap to my defence and say it is not!).

Where do I go from here? With the finger of suspicion firmly still pointing in my direction? The more I try to justify my son’s behaviour in terms of Autism the more I feel that I am just trying to excuse my rubbish parenting – why I have a child who has not been behaving as they should. I am still waiting to go on the parenting course – holding on to the hope that it is me after all, because wouldn’t that be easier.

I take a risk with this post, I know I do. He might see it. They might see it. But I can’t cope with all of this on my own any more. I guess this post isn’t even helpful because I haven’t even put down my concerns. But I suppose it is a question of whether we just carry on or whether I should push to find out one way or the other. I suppose the other thing is whether I am really convinced that I may have Asperger’s or not – because again that would certainly back up how easy it is to miss the signs, but then I am a girl.

 

Aspergers teen driver

Driving Test passed by Teen with Aspergers

Our Teen with Aspergers is Driving

Only yesterday I was doing my A-levels whilst pregnant. So how is it today that the baby I was carrying is now the proud owner of a full driving license?! How did the time go so quickly? 7 years ago I would never have believed that this day would come. My son was struggling  in so many areas, and had been newly diagnosed with Aspergers’ syndrome. Now we have so much hope for him and his future., driving is just the start. In fact now we are struggling trying to get him to decide on Universities and courses! We have established that he does want to go, and has an end goal of what he wants to do – but that’s it. Actually looking at them and making a decision for himself – well that’s just another hurdle. But for today we celebrate that our teenage with Aspegers can drive.

Teen with Aspergers Driving

Now for the next nightmare. Insurance – omg! It seems the more expensive car that is bought the cheaper the insurance – but is that wise? And will he know what to do (socially) when out on his own? I guess it is natural for all mothers to worry (Aspergers or not). And actually the sensible lad in him is very reassuring. What about the other idiots on the road though – eek. Today someone walked across the road (fully) then (without looking) ran back again in front of me. I think everyone around was shocked, and horrified. Me I was just glad I pressed the brakes fast enough. The poor guy who was nearly hit couldn’t say sorry enough, I was just shocked speechless. My 11 year old (who was in the front) just said that he hoped that never happened to his brother. But I am sure my oldest will be fine. And when I have got over worrying about him, I am sure it will be his little brother’s turn!

Ethans Escapades